True to the rules of The “30″ Project, I am going to share 30 goals for myself for the next 30 years. Instead of one a day, which creates a lot of posts, I’ll post them over the next few weeks in groups. Many of these are ongoing goals or lifetime goals, and some of them are very new. Thirty is a really big number when you are referring to a list of accomplishments, and although goals are much more open-ended, I am choosing goals which add value to my quality of life. At work we say, “What does success look like?” That’s the question I am asking myself here. These goals define success for my life… at least from the vantage point of a youthful 30.

So without further adieu, my first five goals:

1. I want to learn how to drive stick shift. A few friends have tried to teach me, but my timing in life in general has never been spot on, and timing is key when driving a stick shift. Anyone out there who wants to teach me and is willing to risk their gears?
2. I want to own my own home. I’ve spent the majority of my 20s creating debt and paying it off, so as my finances continue to improve, this is key for me. I love my apartment, it is definitely “home,” but I’m itching for some real estate. Too bad Baltimore is so dang expensive.
3. I want to pay off my bills. This was so close a year ago, but with the added cost of my eye surgeries, this has been extended. A year or two more and I should be golden.
4. I want to make a piece of furniture. This sounds dumb, but I want to create something with my hands – something I can use and look at and say, “I made that.”
5. I want to lose a few more pounds and maintain a lifestyle that will help me to keep it off. I’ll be honest about how far I’ve come, but first, keep in mind that I’m 4’11″, so you are just going to frustrate me if you tell me that I’m not allowed to care about being at a healthy weight. Pounds are relative to height. That said, my heaviest was 116, but I spent a few years at 114. I weighed in this week between 107 and 109, so I’ve lost as much as 9 pounds, or as little as 5. I am so proud of myself. My goal is 105, so 103-105 variable would be ideal. (Note: 103 is well within “average” for 4’11″.)

I am completely capable of throwing a kick ass party.

Wow. Thanks to all of you who came out last night. Photos will be posted in a few days, but I need to collect a number of them from attendees to see exactly what I’ve got. It was a rocking night – that’s for sure. Dinner was so yummy, but I was so excited that it was hard to eat (never good before drinking). I believe it was Jodi who led the table in “Happy Birthday” which was just the absolute coolest thing ever. Yes, I know… I’m easily pleased.

We continued our party across the street where Wes and Drew were playing. Details towards the end of the night are a bit blurry, but Jodi assures me that I wasn’t too much of an embarrassment to myself, so I feel confident that my good name has been kept in tact. (Ha!) I am actually rather functional today (and better by the hour), but that is probably because I was sick last night rather than this morning. So far… no headache.

There’s some strange sort of empowerment in throwing my own 30th birthday party. Over the last thirty days I have taken a good hard (and sometimes silly) look at myself and who I’ve become. I have to say, whether egotistical or not, that I have turned out relatively well. I am proud of what I’ve accomplished in my life, and yet when all of those accomplishments are stripped away, I am pretty happy with the person on the inside, too. Life seldom turns out the way you plan it, and I think I’ve done a pretty good job rolling with the punches.

Over the last month, quite a few people have told me that their thirties were their best years. Life has been pretty good to me so far, and I can only wish that as I grow older my dreams continue to be realized, opportunities continue to present themselves, and health and happiness continue to follow me along my path.

Happy Birthday me.

Happy Birthday Rissa.

It was a good day thirty years ago when you were born. You were so small, my little armful.

I had read before you were born how to make connections with a newborn so I tried it, I looked into your eyes and you looked back, your eyes were locked on mine …… I stuck out my tongue. I did it whenever I held you and you just stared. On the third day though, you copied me, you stuck you tongue out at me. I checked and yes you were mimicking me. Maybe that doesn’t sound like much to you but I knew that you were connected. That you were thinking. Three days old and I knew that my baby was going to do well.

Your sister and you have always been the light of my life. You are both so different but have so much in common, it is a delight.

You have always made me very proud. You are strong and determined, kind and have a lot of love to give, you are generous and willing to help a person in need, you are loyal and forgiving, you are smart and funny (funny is good, boring is bad). I could go on my love but I want you to know that your dad and I have always thought you were the bees knees (you like that old expression – from the 1920’s).

I wish you lived closer but it is ok that you are in Baltimore. I love the city too. It was foreshadowed that you would go where you wanted and do what you wanted to do. Determined people can be like that.

You come home as often as you can because you love big.

We miss you, little punk. Have a good birthday.

All my love, mom

This is the “30″ Project make-up edition… haha. I’m getting more excited about my goals at this point…

#26 I am a crafter/scrapbooker-like paper-crafter.

Or… I do papercrafts. This is actually a really important hobby for me, although my small living conditions don’t allow me to have a craft room like Marie does. Well as the story goes, years ago when I was recovering from gallbladder surgery, Marie and BJ showed up at my house with well wishes and presents. One of the presents was a ‘get well’ card which I learned was handmade by Marie. I was shocked. It was the cutest little card I’d ever seen, and shortly thereafter, Marie had me marathon scrapbooking and car-making right next to her. I hope that in time I will have enough room to craft regularly, but for now i have personal crafting sessions once or twice a year to make birthday cards, holiday cards and handmade invitations.

#27 Stephanie and I are still friends.

Haha! I warned her that I might do this. Stephanie is one of my best friends from college. We are both “A” personalities and extremely competitive. I’m not entirely sure if we liked each other right away or not, but we ended up in many of the same classes in college and eventually learned that, together, we were a pretty mean team. Together we managed to get a lot of excellent grades and we even worked together a few years later, but through it all, we fought like champions on occasion. I am pretty sure Stephanie was the first friend to make me break down and cry, and unfortunately, she did it more than once. But we were young and stubborn and crazy competitive with each other, and even though we’ve had rough patches, she is a kindred spirit and a very important person in my life.

#28 I can drive backwards.

Seriously. When my dad was teaching me to drive, he made me only drive backwards for hours and hours. We were in the parking lot at the high school, and it has curbs and trees and plenty of obstacles. My dad made me drive in reverse, park, pull out and drive in and out of parking spots backwards. My opinion, of course, is that I am now and excellent driver because of this skill that I have. But of course I’d think that about myself. I’m me.

#29 I was the Secretary at Camp Christian.

For seven years in middle school and high school, I attended Camp Christian one week every summer. This experience was one of the best of my life. Although I have many religious and faith questions as I grow older (that’s normal, right?), I was raised in a Christian family and church. It was a source of safety and strength for me, and Camp Christian was powerful each and every summer. Our junior year, the seniors nominate and elect three leaders for the next year – a boy-co, girl-co and secretary, who can be a boy or girl. Well, low and behold, even thought I wasn’t in the coolest crowd at Camp Christian (yes, there was even a cool crowd there), I was elected secretary. I was so, so happy that summer. It was such an honor, and I will be honored every day of my life to have served. It sounds silly, but it was just that important.

I was a semi-finalist for Big Brother Season Two.

Yep. I absolutely LOVE this show. It’s like MTVs’s Real World on steroids. Gone are the calls the participants can make home, the newspapers/tv/movies they can access, or any contact to the outside world. These people are locked in a house for months with CBS and their housemates completely ruling their lives – and we get to watch every minute of them going crazy. I love it.

So after Season One I sent in an audition tape for Season Two. The whole premise of the video is that I’m small and I won’t take up too much room in the house, so there was footage of me crawling out of cabinets, boxes, a freezer (more to come on that later) and a car trunk. It was a pretty good video, and what do you know – I got a call to interview in Philadelphia. My significant other at the time lived in Baltimore, so I flew here and we drove up to Philly for my audition. Well, I didn’t make it past that audition – I think it was how I answered a few of the questions – but if I would have the next step was being flown to LA as a finalist. FUN! Oh well… I think it’s enough to say I was ALMOST on Big Brother.

Oh – and is anyone up for a Big Brother draft this year? Richie? Anyone else? C’MON!!!

I have lost 5 pounds.

Yep. I may have lost 6, but my goal is 10 pounds whether I do it before my 30th birthday or not (5 days!). I haven’t exercised as much as I should have, but it still shows how much diet affects your body. My sides have thinned out (no more love handles), and many of my pants don’t quite fit me the same way anymore. Maybe this is incentive to let myself go shopping? Maybe?